when i think back to picking up fruits basket for the first time, i remember yuki as a character i couldn't decide on. i didn't know if i liked him or not. from the get go i wanted kyo and tohru together and in some ways yuki felt like an obstacle of that, but he was also so much more complicated. it wasn't until i picked up the series again as an adult with the new anime adaptation that i came to understand why yuki was confusing: he was too much like myself.
of course i don't mean in every way--i wasn't burdnened with the spirit of the rat. but the sense of obligation, need to be perfectly unobtrusive but also draw enough attention to be praised, but not too much to seem needy. the externally and self-imposed weighing him down, i rememeber feeling some of that growing up. and i think that's why he always felt so confusing, because i wanted to box him into a label of 'rival' or 'love interest' and he only barely fit into those, much in the same way i was at 11 years old, trying to force myself to be easily comprehensible and simply understood.
beyond the personal connection, yuki is a character that is so deeply fascinating in terms of his cahracter arc. he goes from having this external sense of worth--being hailed by his classmates, treated as 'special' by the sohmas, all of which ring false, to then finding meaning in caring about himself for who he is. and i think that is such a powerful part of fruits basket is the way these main three find self-worth, tohru for standing up for what she genuinely wants, and kyo trying to find meaning outside of his status. and yuki's is so fascinating because on the outset we think he should be good. everything in his life should be perfect so when we see the cracks it's unnerving.
of course we learn later the reasons for it, the abuse and the horror his family put him through growing up but the mask that he wears is so strong that it takes a while for even tohru, one of the closest people in his life, to even get a glimpse behind it. so when he finally is honest to her, and eventually to machi, it feels like such a breath of fresh air. for once, we get to see yuki, not the prince, not the rat, but yuki. and the journey to get to that point is beautifully done.
i feel like i could write paragraphs about every fruits basket character and maybe someday i will but i wanted to start with a favorite, and start with one who poses the reader with more challenges in the story in terms of understanding him than nearly anyone else (except for akito and shigure probably but those two will get their moment in a ship shrine). to the rat boy, you've had me interested in you for bascially a decade and a half now. thanks.
one of the most thematically important moments in the series comes with suguru's question "are you satoru gojo because you are the strongest or are you the strongest because you are satoru gojo?" for all of my gripes i have with akutami's writing i think he really pinned down the main conflict of this character in one question. and it so clearly seems in all of his scenes how this seeps through, mostly as overconfidence and ego but sometimes as insecurity.
and unfortunately, i do think we finally got our answer, from the most recent chapters with yuta--it was gojo's circumstance and the abilities he had that made him strong, not him alone.
i truly think that geto was the only one in the world able to stand up to gojo, both ability-wise and therefore emotionally. they completed each other in a way no other pairs do in the series.
it is so intersting, then, to consider the gojo we meet in season 1 who has already had to kill his other half. how much of him is just pure show and acting? because it feels like the only time we see gojo the man is when kenjaku surprises him with geto's body.