when i think back to picking up fruits basket for the first time, i remember yuki as a character i couldn't decide on. i didn't know if i liked him or not. from the get go i wanted kyo and tohru together and in some ways yuki felt like an obstacle of that, but he was also so much more complicated. it wasn't until i picked up the series again as an adult with the new anime adaptation that i came to understand why yuki was confusing: he was too much like myself.
of course i don't mean in every way--i wasn't burdnened with the spirit of the rat. but the sense of obligation, need to be perfectly unobtrusive but also draw enough attention to be praised, but not too much to seem needy. the externally and self-imposed weighing him down, i rememeber feeling some of that growing up. and i think that's why he always felt so confusing, because i wanted to box him into a label of 'rival' or 'love interest' and he only barely fit into those, much in the same way i was at 11 years old, trying to force myself to be easily comprehensible and simply understood.
beyond the personal connection, yuki is a character that is so deeply fascinating in terms of his cahracter arc. he goes from having this external sense of worth--being hailed by his classmates, treated as 'special' by the sohmas, all of which ring false, to then finding meaning in caring about himself for who he is. and i think that is such a powerful part of fruits basket is the way these main three find self-worth, tohru for standing up for what she genuinely wants, and kyo trying to find meaning outside of his status. and yuki's is so fascinating because on the outset we think he should be good. everything in his life should be perfect so when we see the cracks it's unnerving.
of course we learn later the reasons for it, the abuse and the horror his family put him through growing up but the mask that he wears is so strong that it takes a while for even tohru, one of the closest people in his life, to even get a glimpse behind it. so when he finally is honest to her, and eventually to machi, it feels like such a breath of fresh air. for once, we get to see yuki, not the prince, not the rat, but yuki. and the journey to get to that point is beautifully done.
i feel like i could write paragraphs about every fruits basket character and maybe someday i will but i wanted to start with a favorite, and start with one who poses the reader with more challenges in the story in terms of understanding him than nearly anyone else (except for akito and shigure probably but those two will get their moment in a ship shrine). to the rat boy, you've had me interested in you for bascially a decade and a half now. thanks.
yuki cannot distinguish different types of love. i feel this strongly because we see him so deeply confused about his feelings for tohru, not understanding what he feels for his family, for the student council that eventually becomes his friends. he has had so little love in his life that any bit of affection sends alarm bells going in his head.
and i think that makes him finding machi so beautiful because she also hasn't seen much love but it's like the two meet each other, and realize that this is what it was all along: this is romanitc love. and that's just plainly beautiful
is the yuki and kyo rivalry basic in some ways? maybe, but i think it goes a layer further. instead of a just 'oh i actually wish i was you' in a superficial sense, we really see how yuki envies kyo's ease with others and how kyo envies yuki's status.
it makes the reconciliation all the much more rewarding when we do finally get to it.